M'ap double: An Ode to Prestige Beer
A few years ago I learned the Creole
expression, “m'ap double.”
It was used in the context of someone getting another helping of a meal, but it's not just used for food. Pronounced, “Mop DooBlay”
literally translated it means “I will double” but we'd probably
translate it as “I'm having seconds.”
So yeah. This week I took every
opportunity to double on the Prestige. Introduced in 1976 and
the winner of not one but TWO gold medals in the World Beer Cup in
the American Style Lager category (years 2000 and 2012), Prestige is
the best selling beer in Haiti, with a 98% market share.
I am not a beer snob like many people
are. In the States, my everyday beer of choice is Yuengling, though
every so often I crave a PBR. (Mostly just in the summer though.)
And when that happens, it always reminds me of this guy named David
that I knew at Rutgers my only semester there. David was film
student at Mason Gross (Rutger's Fine Arts school) and he was
obsessed with the David Lynch film Blue Velvet. David would watch
the film in his dorm room (which was across the hall from mine as
Rutgers has co-ed dorms) multiple times per week. He was always
quoting the film and invited me over to watch with him. There's a
line in the movie where one of the characters (Jeffrey) orders a
Heineken, and another character (Frank) says, “Heineken? Fuck that
Shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon. That's what you're drinking tonight.”
Now, here's a couple of things about
that random story I just shared. First. While I didn't really
notice David in a cute boy type way, I think he might have liked me.
After I watched Blue Velvet with him the next morning there was a
post-it note on my door that said something like, “Had fun last
night. Let's do it again and you pick the flick.” That sounds like
sort of like he was asking me on a date, doesn't it? Well, a college
freshman date. But I didn't know that much about complicated things
like DATING. So I just assumed we were just friends. And you know,
maybe we just were. We never did anything else date-like other than
watching movies in his room. Never any hanky panky, so to speak.
The movie thing didn't last that long
for two main reasons. First, while I pretended to understand his
film school films, I really didn't. And so I was bored a lot of the
time. But I pretended to love them. Because why criticize what
someone loves, right? And also I didn't want to look dumb. I
remember saying to David once, “Hey, if you ever make a movie that
gets an Academy Award, can I go to the Oscars with you?” And like
a true film student he said, “I don't really believe those kinds of
shows validate the right things about films.” (So I am thinking
that was a no.)
The second reason that the movie thing
didn't last too long was because I played guitar. And so did blonde
Jeffrey with the flowy hair, and Justin, my hunky RA, and tall Mike,
the guy who played way better than all of us, but humored us. So we
had jam sessions together. We played a lot of Pink Floyd (Jeffrey's
choice), Indigo Girls (my choice), and Pearl Jam (Justin's choice.)
I don't remember what Mike liked. But what I do remember is that I
liked being the only female guitar player in our little circle
because these guys were pretty fine in a totally 90's kind of way.
Because, of course, this was the 90s. No hanky panky ever happened
with any of them either. 0 for 2. But one time Mike's cousin came
into town. I don't remember his name but we made out a little, so 1
for 3?
Oh man. I totally digressed there. All
that from an occasional PBR. Back to Prestige.
So I grew to love Prestige over my
Haiti tenure. At first because it's pretty much the only option.
You can also get Heineken here (except I knew from watching Blue
Velvet with film student David that was not a good option).
Presidente, the main Dominican beer, was also available, as is
Guinness Foreign Extra. The Foreign Extra Guinness has more alcohol
in it. So I guess more bang for your buck? Except that I hate it
and only tolerate Presidente. But I LOVED Prestige early on. And so
does everyone else in all of Haiti, except for teetotalers like Nick
Mangine. When the earthquake hit and the plant that bottles
Prestige was damaged, everyone counted Prestige as one who'd died in
the tranbleman tè. Nick and I often mused that one of the more
effective aid strategies all the humanitarians flocking to Haiti
should consider was the expedited rebuilding of that plant, because
if there was ever a time Haiti needed Prestige, it was then. And I
have to say, it did come back after not too long, but in the mean
time we were stuck with Cody's Malt Liquor or whatever else kind of
cheap nonsense that was being imported at the time.
Do you know what the appeal of Prestige
was to me at first? It tasted like drinking a sip of my dad's beer
when I was a kid. Now. That sort of thing is not in style these
days. It's like “call Social Services” not in style. But I was
born in the 70s and that's just what you did. He'd usually let me
have a sip if I asked, and I just loved the crisp, cold taste of his
beer from the icy glass he kept in the freezer. So I was hooked on
my first sip. Considering my last name was Goodale at the time, it
was fitting that I loved it.
When we moved to Haiti, I quickly
learned three things about drinking beer. First, in Haiti, Prestige
is sort of viewed the same way that we view soda in the States. Some
people drink it all day long-- even with breakfast, and that is not
that abnormal. Day drinking is not taboo in Haiti.
Second thing, you can pretty much bring
a beer anywhere. For instance, you could be a man drinking a beer
while you're driving but have no shirt on, and if you get pulled
over, you will be much more likely to get a ticket for not having a
shirt on. In more recent years there have been some signs
encouraging people not to drink and drive. They have these
cartoon-like drawings of a tap tap driving off a cliff with people
and chickens and goats all in mid flight on their way to the ground.
And then there's this former military guy and presidential candidate
who has a lottery franchise-- “Pere Eternal Lotto” (Father
Eternal Lottery- which, I don't want to judge someone else's
theology, but I am pretty sure I can't stand behind) who also has a
message on one of his signs on the road to Jacmel encouraging people
not to drink and drive. But those heedings are largely ignored. And
it's even acceptable in many occupations to drink on the job. Barbers
sip on their beers all day long, and have a fridge full to sell to
their customers. I've even seen many motos equipped with a cup holder
to hold a beer. Notice Exhibit A. This was one of our employees work motos which he "upgraded" with this important feature.
And third, I don't know if there is a
technical drinking age in Haiti, but you can send your 4 year old to
go buy it from the boutique down the road. I have never sent a 4
year old. But I would by lying if I said that Nia wasn't our
designated beer getter at times when we lived in Haiti. Oh, and
here's an extra little tidbit for you, I have been told that if you
plan on drinking several Prestige and don't want to get drunk, eat
some plantains before and during drinking. It allegedly sucks up the
beer and prevents severe intoxication. (But I am going to call BS on
that as a drunkenness prevention strategy, just like I call BS on the
commonly held belief that you can't get pregnant if you have sex in
the ocean. Just doesn't work that way.)
But since returning to the States, I
just don't drink that much beer because Prestige has ruined me for
all other beers. Prestige is not available in NC. And so I need to
stock up when I have the chance. It would not be an exaggeration to
say that I easily drank more beer this past week than I did in the
previous 8 months (since I was in Haiti last) combined. (Don't judge
me, I was on vacation, and after all when in Rome.) My mom, who hates
beer, even drank 2 Prestige this week. That's just crazy talk.
There is something mind-controlling about it, like the pickles on a
McDonald's cheeseburger.
But today I am returning to the States.
I have a few precious Prestige packed away in between dirty clothes.
They will last me through the post-Haiti depression I will no doubt
experience. And then I will have to wait until my next journey down
to Haiti to partake in the nectar of the island.
Prestige, I wish I knew how to quit you...