thanksgiving

So. Thanksgiving is in a few days.

We have this tradition in our family on Thanksgiving. We put three kernels of dried corn on each person's plate and before we start our feast, we go around the room and each share 3 things for which we are thankful. The purpose of this custom is to be mindful that the pilgrims first winter in Plymouth was very, very sparse and they lost over half their population. The feast the next year was much more abundant. And by remembering those spare times, the magnitude of our gratitude is so much greater.

Today I visited Source Church, where my family has recently started attending services. It was a really neat community of people. It's just real people-- all kinds. Lots of different races of people. Some people all tatted up, some people not all tatted up. Lots of young people, but some old people (like my parents) too. It was refreshing to see such a diverse group of people worshiping together.

But I digress.

Pastor Frank Lassen (part of the all tatted up contingent) was preaching today from Psalm 95 and Luke 17. Predictably, (with this being the week of Thanksgiving), the message was about gratefulness. Let me rewind a moment and say that I am one of "those people" who is caught up in the 30 days of gratefulness on Facebook. Trying to be mindful each day of something for which I am thankful and record it. It's not hard to think of things to be thankful for. I have a great family. I have everything I need. More than the things I need actually, a lot of things I want too.

But this concept he was talking about today goes deeper than that. He was talking about the 10 lepers that Jesus healed. (See Luke 17:11-19). Jesus healed ten men with leprosy. And out of that, only ONE came back to thank him. One. That's weird, huh? I mean really. These men were LEPERS. Literally. Lepers. They had to live totally in isolation from others-- from their friends and family. And Jesus HEALED them. Like, made them not leprous anymore. Yet only ONE came back to thank him.

When I hear stories like that I am all like, "Wow. Some people are so ungrateful." I am CONSTANTLY getting irritated with my kids for their sense of entitlement and their lack of gratitude. I take trips to the states and try to keep my mouth shut (most of the time) but I really do feel frustrated with the entitlement issues/excesses of this society. But today I wasn't being all frustrated with other people and their lack of gratitude. Today I felt really ungrateful. The spirit of the Lord convicted me that he's saved my life OVER and OVER and OVER again. (Like literally saved my life-- think earthquake, armed home invasion, etc.)

Instead of feeling grateful lately, I have felt, well... kind of put out. Like, "This is all part of suffering for the gospel." And, "It sucks that me and a lot of my friends have to deal with this." Today I was convicted that three and a half weeks ago when Nick, Nia, and I had guns to our heads and by God's grace the trigger was not pulled, God chose to SAVE me. (And Nick and Nia.) Again.

And instead of being overwhelmed with thankfulness for sparing us and saving us, I've just been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with fear, with the financial implications, with the details of having to engage more security, with the details of evacuating our children, with the frustration of being separated (AGAIN!) from my husband. All of these things seem like big burdens. All of these things seem like a punishment.

However, when I re-frame the situation, I can't help but be overwhelmed with gratitude. Yes, this was incredibly frightening, but most of the fear comes into play when I think about what *could have* happened and what *might* happen in the future, not what actually did happen.

In these 8 robberies that I've heard about in the past month or so, dozens of bullets were fired. Six people were shot. ZERO of those shots were fatal. Zero. God's hand of protection was with us. He was with us.

God was SO with us.

Part of living in a fallen world is the assumption that evil will prevail at times. We have no guarantees for life and safety. When God grants us life and security-- it is a gift.

And I am one of the nine lepers who didn't go back to thank him.