another question

I am overwhelmed by the number of really meaningful PMs/emails that have been sent to me during the past day or so as I've expressed my growing doubts. I am going to try to get back to each of you individually as time permits, so hang in there.

I've gotten emails from Christians, from non-Christians. I have had conversations with American people and Haitian people-- a lot of people finding themselves with a similar line of questions. And I still don't know which end is up, but I might have some ideas on how to organize my thoughts. Maybe we can all kind of try to figure this out together.

Okay, so here's the question.

I've heard a lot about "relationship" with Jesus. I've used the term before, and I believe I am a follower of Jesus. I worship him and pray to God, but I've never experienced a relationship with Jesus the way some people talk about it. People talk about Jesus like he's their best friend. They claim to love him more than their spouse and kids. And they pine away for their times alone together. I want to be in love with God like that. But I am not. And I don't know how to get there. It was easy to fall in love with Nick Mangine. I always wanted to be around him. And he wanted to be around me. And we got to know each other better. And I am convinced that the reason we fell in love and got married and lived happily ever after is because it was a 2-sided thing. (That and he's super-cute.) How the heck to you initiate a relationship like that with God? I think a lot of people claim they have a relationship like that with God because that's what they think they should say and what they want other people to think.

I hear church people say all the time that all the cravings we feel are just this God-shaped vacuum longing to be filled and we fill them with things that won't satisfy-- food, alcohol, sex, drugs, money, power... But we are left unsatisfied. What does it mean to transfer these cravings and longings over to God?

How does one do this?

Like literally. Do you have any ideas on what this looks like? How does one start a love relationship with God and seek satisfaction in him?

Comments are open-- or email me at gwenn@joyinhope.org