Usually, Nick or Hugues (our manny) is my driver. However, lately as we've had more official errands to do and a lack of vehicles, Eddie (our head security guard, general right hand man, and as of today, my ex-friend) has been driving me around. Today we had an appointment to look at a house. (Our lease is up in December, and even though we think we're gonna stay here, we're looking around. Just to get an idea and because it's kind of fun to look at houses.)
So driving down to meet our... "hem" contact, who shall remain nameless. When you're looking for a house, you suddenly become a popular person because there are many people vying for the 10% of the yearly rent "finders fee" they are unofficially entitled to.
But I am getting off topic.
So we're about to stop the moto and Eddie, as he laughs says, "Gwenn, ou lou. Ou geyen pwa. Anpil." (Gwenn, you're heavy. You have pounds. A lot of them.)
I couldn't argue with him and I knew it wasn't meant as an insult so I said, "Wi, e vre." (Yes, you're right.) And just quickly moved on before I thought too much about how tight my jeans were feeling.
A little bit later, after we'd moved on to something else, we were coming out of Bwa Vital (one of the refugee camps.) It's a really rough road. Eddie stops the moto, looks at the back wheel and says as he shakes his head, "Oh Gwenn, pwa'w ap touye mwen jodia!" (Oh Gwenn, your weight is KILLING me today!)
As if somehow the size of my bounda (buttocks) has something to do with the fact that HE drove over a nail.