So we're in the back of the truck yesterday coming back from the beach.
We have a pretty hard and fast rule that if you are wet, you cannot sit in the front of the truck on the way home from the beach, you have to sit in the back. Now, we have benches and a frame back there so it's really not all that bad.
For carsickness reasons, safety reasons, and "because I am the mom and I say so" reasons, I always sit in the back, closest to the tailgate on one side.
So picture this just for a second so that you can understand the situation--
I am all the way in the back of the truck (in a swimsuit) sitting on a metal bench and holding on to one of the bars above me, so that my arm is bent at a 45 degree angle, perpendicular to the bar I was holding on for support, which inevitably, made my turkey waddle (the flab on the area where my triceps SHOULD be) kind of wave in the breeze like a flag. (Sorry for the nasty visual, but that's where we were.)
Nico was sitting on my lap. Josiah was sitting on Fritzie's lap across from me. Nia was sitting next to her, and Hugues, (our manny) was sitting on the tailgate also holding on in the same fashion as I was. However, unlike me, there is not an ounce of body fat on Hugues and he's a Haitian man, so he's of course, ripped. There was no turkey waddle flapping for him. He has actual tricep muscles where they should be.
Now. Here's the conversation that happened. (It actually all happened in Keryol, but I am going to write it in English.)
****
Nico: (Observing Hugues' muscles, reaches out and starts rubbing him all over his chest--making everyone uncomfortable-- and says...) Hugues, you are strong.
Hugues: (Kind of embarrassed.) No.
Nico: (Still rubbing Hugues' chest and moving onto his arms.) Yes, you are strong. Look at your muscles.
Hugues: (More embarrassed.) A little bit strong.
Nico: (Had stopped touching the muscles, but only because I swatted his hand away.) No, you're VERY strong. Right Nia?
Nia: Yes. You have GIANT muscles. (And then making it about her because that's what she likes to do...) And Hugues, look how strong I am too. (Raises her arm to flex her bicep.) Feel my muscle.
Hugues: (Obligingly) Yes. You are VERY strong Nia.
Josiah: I am strong too, Hugues. Look at me. (Raises his arm to flex his bicep.) Feel.
Hugues: (Not obligingly because Hugues likes Josiah better than anyone else in the world...) Oh Josiah, my man. Look at you. You are strong. You are SO strong.
Nico: Me too. Me too. I am strong too, right? (Raises his arm to flex his bicep.)
Hugues: (Obligingly.) Yes. You are VERY strong Nico.
Nico: And mommy too. Mommy is strong too.
Nia: Yeah, mommy is very strong.
(This of course, turned everyone's gaze to my white flapping arm flapping in the breeze, positioned just inches from Hugues "GIANT" Haitian-man muscles. Sidenote: I saw where this was going and tried, in vain, to change the subject, because yeah... but no such luck.)
Hugues: (taking in the comparison and not really knowing this is something in America "of which one does not speak," just goes for it.) Yeah guys, your mom is strong. Only she's strong here... (and with that he points directly to the flapping waddle.) Look, she's very strong there.
This, of course, results in a roar of laughter from the 12 people in the back of the truck. I called Hugues a bad name under my breath and swatted him, but then joined in with the laughing, because, to quote Emily Sailers, "You have to laugh at yourself, because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't."
Gotta love Haitian honesty.
