I remember when Nico first came home to us he had a lot of silent tears. You'd look over at him and see that he was crying--tears would be pouring down his face and his face was pained-- but you wouldn't know it if you didn't look at him because he was completely silent. I have heard that's pretty common with children who have been in orphanages. They learn that there's no one to comfort them and so they don't bother crying.
Today that happened with Wildarne. She hit her head really hard on the cabinet and tears were pouring out of her face and she was strained in pain... but she didn't make a noise.
Nick and I took turns holding ice on it and holding her, and I just kept thinking about how different it is from my kids. I am always getting frustrated at them for whining and complaining and crying over things for which I don't think warrant tears. But the truth is, I'd prefer that to the silent tears. I was reminded of how very much children need a mother's love. And how grateful I am to have the chance to fill that role for these children...
I love my life.
3 comments:
I will never forget the night when Nico first arrived and I slept in his room to give you guys a break. Looking over at him and expecting him to be asleep and then seeing the silent cry. It was so powerful. Then when finally I got him to talk to me all he could do was point at the door and sob. He wanted his mommy and daddy. It was so painful and so beautiful.
This post brings back sad memories of Darby having the same type of cries. As much as the crying and whining drives me nuts, I so prefer that to the silent tears too.
I remember those tears from my sweet girl. I didn't understand them well at the time, but the memory of them now breaks my heart.
What a beautiful redemption you get to participate in in the lives of these children. I will continue to pray for you in this role of bringing love to some of God's disheartened children.
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