Monday, September 14, 2009

The Birth Order Book: Gwenn Mangine Style

I have been encouraged lately to write a book. I have not had an interest in writing a book-- until today. And then I realized I have a lot to offer the world.

Forget Kevin Leman's "Birth Order Book," I can boil it all down to three main thoughts.

1. First child-- Don't allow ketchup on ANYTHING until at least 3 years old because of the high sugar content.

2. Second child-- Allow ketchup as a dip for side items, but consider it a "hill to die on" when said child tries to dip their spoon in the ketchup, causing a tantrum in Wendy's forcing all family members to leave the premises.

3. Third child-- Wholeheartedly encourage child to eat ketchup as the main course in an attempt to sit down at a meal for more than 1.3 minutes without having to get up for something else.

6 comments:

  1. Love it. Except I give Evie ketchup. A lot. What does that say for Cana?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gwenn,
    I'm a friend of the Claybrooks and have just started reading your blog. I laughed out loud when I read this and realized that we're gonna be in trouble when our third comes home from China early next year because we went straight to "second child ketchup status" with our first.
    I look forward to your versions of other books, can you summarize Dr. Spock too?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Since we had our first baby three weeks before our two adopted kids came home, ours is a bit backward. i'm "first baby freakish" with the baby and "they survived an orphanage for nearly three years, they can survive anything" with the twins. the baby is eating cheerios off the floor right now, so i guess i've chilled out a little...

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh no...kaitlyn is advanced and his 3rd child status.....

    ReplyDelete
  5. so with 20-some kids, will you be forcing ketchup through an I.V. drip, plus using it as a personal cleanser? Dang, Esther has some job security coming!

    ReplyDelete

Hey y'all. Allowing comments now after a long time of not. Please be respectful.