Product review: Lady Anti-Monkey Butt Powder (LAMBP)

So-- I got some. And I tried it. And I love it. I LOVE IT. I REALLY LOVE IT.

Here's the skinny:
If you ARE skinny, you probably don't need this. BUT, if you find yourself in a situation like me, where you have *hem* ample assets, LAMBP IS YOUR PRODUCT.

It comes out of the bottle pink-ish in color and is satiny smooth. It's incredibly smooth. Made from a combination of cornstarch powder and calamine powder (yeah, the same thing you use for rashes and bites), it actually smells a lot like calamine lotion, which is not a plus, but you really don't need a lot. And it REALLY reduces friction. REALLY. I can't even begin to tell you how smooth. Like ZERO chafing. Which, is unreal. It is like a miracle in a $5.99 bottle.

Now, the price of the product (let me clarify this, it was given to me by the ever-generous Rick Smith) makes it a bit cost prohibitive. Therefore, I think it's best to utilize LAMBP only for areas of extreme chafing. It's not a good everyday powder-- you can use "Shower to Shower" or better yet, my favorite, Gold Bond. But for chub rub- this is the way to go. It's SO good, I didn't even wear bike shorts under my dress. Which, has NEVER happened since living in this ridiculously hot, humid, always-sweating-24/7-country.

The only other downside that I can see is that it tends to leave a slight trace of pink powder wherever it is applied. This is not a problem for me because I have a pretty strong opinion that anyone who has thighs ample enough to get chub rub, should probably not be wearing mini-skirts or short shorts. Thus, if your clothing were appropriate to your body size, no one would know about the pink trace of residue.

So check it out. If it works in HAITI with MY THIGHS, I think it will probably work for you and your thighs.