Sunshine and Lollipops it is not

One of the things I struggle with as I write on my blog is the balance between being real and trying to not share too much-- which apparently I don't always do well. (I have taken some flack for sharing the big V info... oh well.) We all have this filter that we pass all of our words and actions through so that we don't appear as we truly are to others (my pastor, Jonathan, calls it 'image management.') I try not to manage my image, but really, come on-- let's be real. We all do it even when we think we are not. Well, at least I do.

So I thought today I would share a little bit about my marriage today. My pastor is doing a blog series right now on marriage myths-- it's really good, and I think he nails a lot of these issues dead on. (Check it out at Jonathanbow.com-- at the bottom right there is a link to all of them.)

One myth I would bust is that marriage is sunshine and lollipops, especially when you are both Christ followers.

It is hard. It is really stinkin' hard sometimes. I remember being in my 20's and single and thinking, "Once I get married, I will be happy." And I was-- well, sometimes. Early in our marriage Nick and I fought constantly. It was pretty manic and intense. Really high highs and really low lows. And neither of us are very good at fighting fair. I get sarcastic and snippy, and he just blows his top. We both get mean. It's funny, because most people don't have a hard time believing that about me, but only a few select people believe that about Nick. :) After the initial year of marriage, we began to grow to a place of relative peace, but every so often (1-2 times a year) we'd just totally let it fly.

And then the boys came into our family.

Stress has really magnified the personality traits in me that I hate the most, and I think that Nick would say the same. We've noticed the tension and the spats have been increasing (as in, like, every day) and that was one of the biggest reasons we decided to see a counselor. And while I think long term, the strategies we're learning and the truth we're allowing to be spoken to us is extremely beneficial, it's still hard.

So what's the point of all this? I guess it's just to be real and try to present myself and my life more accurately. This past Christmas Eve Nick and I did a story for the children at our church. It was this silly thing, and (if I don't say so myself) Nick was hilarious. Afterwards someone came up to me and said, "I can't imagine how fun it must be to be married to Nick. He's a riot." (As if the character he was playing was how he really is as my husband.) I kind of laughed it off and said, "Well, yes, but that's not really what he's like." Don't get me wrong-- Nick is a great person to be married to. I love him (and like him) like crazy. There are a lot of things that we do very well together. But it is not easy, and there are also plenty of things we do not do well and have not done well. Sometimes the flesh just flies...

I am just babbling on and on now and have no way to wrap this up. So, yeah, if I was a pastor I would say, "Let's pray" to close but since I am not---

Over and out. (How was that?)