Corn Nipples, Chip Tester + Blasphemer

Nia cracks me up pretty much every single day. She doesn't try to, it just happens. Here are a few of our conversations that have cracked me up.

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Sitting at the table. We are having corn with dinner.

Nia:
Mom, what are the little pieces of corn called? I can't remember.

Me:
You mean each individual piece of corn?

Nia:
Yes. I can't remember what they are called.

Me:
They are called kernels.

Nia:
Oh yeah, right. I always get confused about that.

Some time passes and Nia has run out of corn.

Nia:
Mom, could you pass me some more corn... nipples? They are really good.

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Yesterday we took a walk to Kroger and picked up some groceries for the Memorial Day party we were going to. On the way home we had this conversation.

Nia:
Mom, when we get home I am going to have some of these chips.

Me:
Um, actually, no you aren't. The chips are for the party we're going to later. We can't eat them now.

Nia:
I didn't mean I was going to EAT them, I just need to TEST them.

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This morning I was giving the kids breakfast and Nico asked for more mango. ('Meego' is actually what he asked for, but since I am relatively fluent in Nico-ese, I got what he was saying.) I brought Nico more mango and then this exchange occurred.

Nico:
Mommy, pray.

Me:
Nico, we already prayed at the beginning of breakfast, you don't have to pray again.

A moment or two passes.

Nia: (in a know-it-all tone)
You know Mom, Nico was right. The Bible says we should pray before EVERYTHING we eat, not just at the beginning.

Me: (in an equally know-it all tone)
Oh really? I was not aware of that. Where does it say that?

Nia: (in a sassy tone without missing a beat)
John 14.

Side note: First, I thought it was pretty clever of her, (while blasphemous and sassy) to make up imaginary Bible verses and references. But secondly, I was careful to look up John 14 to make sure she wasn't some sort of Bible savant... BTW- she isn't.
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Seriously folks, four-year-olds rock.